this is for you, Anata.

(take a deep breath) hmmmmmf...

i just wanna say thank you for someone who always reads my blog when i less online when im asleep, hangout with my friends, or maybe when i go to school. and when his mind was full of me, and he was wondering where am i, who am i with, or have i had my lunch, or something like 'does she misses me or not?'

i know you were scretely, reads my blog. and analyze it with your own mind. you never ask me what does it mean, why i wrote this, or how can i felt that way. there maybe a thousand questions in your thoughts. well i can't explain it one by one to make you understand. everything that i wrote is just everything that i feel in that moment too. so, it may be mean something or it can be nothing. actually, its not a big deal at all honey.

and this post i wrote just for you. i know i left you so many times. i hurt you and its countless. i know it. and uhmmm... (sigh) i just forget to say out loud, how precious you really are to me. im sorry for everything that i've done to you. everything that make you sad and dissapointed. i dont mean it.

and for our last argument a moment ago, about my private message in my msn.
there is written like this : "yes i miss you i love you, Anata"

and you've become very upset. you may not show but i know in every word you types, in every emotion you shows, i see it clear enough.
i just want to tell you something honey, you dont have to be soooooo 'sok tau' all the time. ok, but maybe you dont mean to be.

you asked me:

who is Anata? do you miss him? wooooow how lucky he is. HAHAHAHA *with a mocking tone*

oh well, when i read it im just smiling and wondering... uhmmm, is that called jealousy? haha. GOTCHA!

Honey, do you ever know what is 'Anata' means in Japanese?
it means 'Dear'. which is it means you, honey.
yes, it means you my bumblebee :)